We Can Do This

On January 4th 2016 I started my First half of the winter semester with three classes. I will have my finals in the first week of March and that same week I will be starting my next two classes for the second half of the Winter term. All of my classes are 7 weeks long. That means triple the work than having a traditional semester. One would think that through having a full time job and a 1 year old to take care of as well as a dog and house chores my grades would be suffering!

Nope! Not this girl! I have managed to have 100% in one class and 98% on the other two classes. What does this mean? It means that come the week of finals I have some leeway. My exams will count for 20-30% of my final grade. Does that mean that  I won’t try and be satisfied with a C? HELL No! It just means that I can do it, and so can YOU!

My past week has been horrible! My son had a viral infection that kept him in and out of fevers and myself out of work for 4 days. That’s where your mommy / employee guilt kicks in and it kicks in hard. I have been trying hard to gain enough days to be able to have a vacation this year. Of course I want to be able to be a great employee and never call in sick or off UNLESS it is an actual EMERGENCY. This was an emergency. He needed me more than my coworkers needed me. They are Amazing at what they do and I know they could handle it. He was not happy, his screaming bouts lasted three hours with no breaks! I wanted to jump out of my own window… but, I just took some deep breaths and just tried to be there for him. He would kick and cry and scream and push me away, but if I walked away he would turn 100 times worse and reach out to me….. Ummm… did you just not push me away but you want me to be here…. I was confused. Truth is he is a toddler and the only way he can express himself is through his body and developing voice. It’s not his fault, nor mine that he can’t tell me exactly what’s wrong.  All I could do was tell my boss that I needed to stay with him. My husband and I probably had a total of 13 hours of sleep that whole week.

Friday came and my mother in law was off for the weekend. YES!!!! This means we can get some sleep and I can finish or get ahead with school work. Thank God for Parents! We went over to their house, of course the drive there was brutal with an aching child and my inanity running low. Instead of locking myself in the guest room I sat down and logged into my school. I finished about three big assignments and got one week ahead. That night I went to sleep at 1am. I was able to get some sleep last night from 2am to 1230pm! Yes I was shocked when I checked my phone! We are now home and since I saw that I had some free time I decided I could get back to writing!

My whole take on this week and the past two months is; Like I stated before, it’s all about how your prioritize your life.  You have to compromise some things, but remember that no one is going to make things happen but you! How easy would it have been for me to put school on hold or take just one class this semester and finish my degree later? Would I be happy? NO. I know what I am capable of and if all of my courses would be offered in the same semester I would take up to 8 classes at once. That’s just who I am. I do think I am a little crazy, but it’s just that I am not afraid of a challenge.

IMG_20160120_201415I could have waited to have a child, finished my degree scored a nice job and then started a family, but I wanted him NOW. So regardless of anyone’s opinion on your life, do what makes you happy and what you know you can handle. If it’s worth it to you, nothing else matters.

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NO EXCUSES!

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After reading this article; Why Millennials are a F**king Joke,

I got inspired and decided to get something off my chest, since you know.. we are so easily offended.

 

No Excuses!

 

You want to lose weight, “Oh I can’t, I’m on birth control it gets me fat”… I have no job.. I want to finish school, but I have a baby… I want to finish school but I work full time… I want to make money and be successful but life is too hard… like Shia Labeouf says, “ Just do it”.

 

If I had a dime for all the EXCUSES I have heard and said. Unless you are an illegal immigrant, a person with a disability that hinders their job or learning performance, I don’t want to hear it!

I know of illegal immigrants that can hold jobs, convicts who can hold jobs, veterans with disabilities that can hold jobs.

Being involved in the OCR (obstacle course race) community, I have seen people who are 400+ lbs who will walk, climb and go through obstacles. They have more heart than most of us. There are amputees that are in better shape than us. WHAT’S YOUR EXCUSE?

What aggravates me the most is that, it’s those closed minded people that victimize themselves. No… you are LAZY. It is YOUR choice. It is my choice to wake up early get everything ready for my son, take him to day-care, go home during lunch and spend 20 minutes with my husband. Go back to work, work out, pick my son up, go home -cook, clean, play and teach him new things, feed him, bathe him put him to bed, then start or finish my homework, do laundry and clean up.

It’s my choice to pick boiled eggs over a McGriddle. It my choice to study or read a book vs watching TV. It’s my choice to work out or lay down and take a nap.

“But I have no time”. Yes you do…. It’s called time management and prioritizing! It’s called sacrificing going out,  hanging with your friends gossiping and talking about how bad or good you have it. It’s working to give someone else 533 dollars to watch your kid while you provide and get an education to better yourself. It’s not being able to socialize as much as you used to. It’s having the courage to say, “Sorry I can’t make it”, and the strength to not feel lonely because you no longer get invited to events. Why? Because you need to do it for YOU. What do YOU want? And what are YOU doing about it.

Many people say, “pray until something happens”. Well there has to be actions taking place. If you can’t work out, eat better stretch drink more water avoid the fat and sugary things. If you don’t have money for school find a job, apply for scholarships ask for grants, join the military. The resources are endless. It’s all on you. It doesn’t matter how many classes you take as long as you finish! It doesn’t matter when you start, only that you do.

 

Below is the link to her article.

https://theoxytocinchronicle.wordpress.com/2015/12/02/generation-cry-baby-why-millennials-are-a-fking-joke/

 

How to Choose the Right Job for your current situation

Choosing the right full time job for you when attending school full time      can be very stressful.

When I finished my enlistment I applied for a government job as a health technician.

Credentials

Phlebotomy certification in 2008.Administrative specialist 2010-2014. 88 credits towards Bachelors degree. Management experience.

In 2010 I joined the Marines and if you didn’t know, they do not offer medical specialty jobs. We receive all medical care through the Navy. So I went in as an Administrative specialist.

 

2014- There were no openings for anything administrative available at that time so I applied as a health technician and got in.

 

I kept applying for 40-60k paying jobs because I knew I was qualified, and needed more money. I kept outweighing the pros and cons of how much more stressed I would be if I was a supervisor and running an office vice drawing blood and being a part of a great team. I am not in charge, I come in draw about 50 to 80+ patients a day and pick up my son and go home. Study, cook, clean all that good stuff.

I got multiple job offers and I decided that while I was still continuing my education that I was content at my current job.

You see sometimes just because you will be making more money doesn’t mean you will be happy.

Maybe that simple full-time steady job that you have is the Right job for your current situation. Always look at the bigger picture not just at that particular moment in time.

Will it help you feel good?

I feel good when I hear a patient tell me I did a great job or I hear old Veteran stories.

Is it worth the commute?

I live 7 to 10 minutes away from my job and my sons daycare is across the street.

Are you really making more money?

Good thing about working for the Government, you get a little raise and you move up in grade and steps.

Are you willing to relocate?

We decided to buy a house in Cape Coral and felt that was the right choice.

How will it affect your school and family time?

I see my husband on lunch breaks and on weekends and I get to spend time with my son feed him, play, bathe him and put him to bed by 730-8pm. I do my homework when he is in bed.

Remember every family is different and whatever your situation as long as you have a schedule and routine that works everything will be ok.

Tips to Cope: Full Time Student, Employee and Mommy

HOW I DID IT

  1. Schedule. I worked the day shift 730-4pm, my husband worked the evening shift 330pm-12am. There was a 30 minute gap. My sister in law(bless her heart) watched our son during that time and took him with her to pick up her children from school. If you don’t have relatives or anyone around, look up a great babysitter to save money or look into daycare. Choose something that works for your family.
  2. Homework. A baby carrier is your new best friend at the early stage. Grab your baby and snuggle them up in the carrier make sure you have enough room to have your hands free. I completed my math homework this way. The baby is happy and you get to get things done.
  3. Breast Feeding/Pumping.  I breastfed any chance I got. Once I started working and going to school again I would pump at work and go home during my lunch break and breastfeed. It was exhausting and I was not pumping enough. It is true, your body knows when and how much to produce. It was like clock work by 1145 I was ready to feed. My son was ready and he would feed for 20 minutes and fall asleep. I tried mothers milk capsules to buildup my supply and non alcoholic beer as well as Guinness and Malta. It all worked. I decided to stop breastfeeding at 5 months. You can also join a breastfeeding group on facebook or a local group in your community.
  4. Let them help! If you are married or have a significant other let them help you. Yes I know, you want it done right the first time… One wise woman gave me the best advise I know. She said. ” Let him help you in his own way, if you nag he wont be helping you at all”. It works like a charm. It was weeks before I changed my sons diaper. My husband has his own way of doing things and I have mine. Same result. During your first days as a new mom you get this surge of energy. If someone asks you if you want them to hold your baby while you get some shut eye, let them! you will regret not letting them help you later on.
  5. Don’t feel guilty. Everyday at work I get a patient who asks me what I am doing there and not with my son. I have missed a lot. I felt like a horrible mother and questioned why I planned so many things at the same time. I had started a gym membership and stopped after 2 months because I rather spend my little extra time with him. I joined a Bible Study group and stopped going because that interferes with his bed time. Life is about compromises. Right now, I want to spend all of my free time with him. He started daycare at 8 months and you can see how great of an impact it has had on him. He learns new things and interacts with different kids all day. He has a very busy day as do I, and when we get home we are inseparable!

Team no Sleep

Monday October 27th, while I was at work, I kept  having contractions. I had been in and out of the hospital with pre term labor symptoms twice. I had received the terbutaline shots to stop my contractions and sent home. I could see my sons heart rate speed up every time I had a dose. I felt horrible, but it was too early for him to come. That Monday I had my first set of weekly prenatal visits. I went in, I was 2cm dilated and everything looked good. When I got home I started bleeding. I thought it was my mucus plug. I started getting more contractions and decided it was time. we went for a mile walk and decided to head to the hospital. I am one of the lucky ones that can tolerate pain very well. I get to the hospital and the security officer signs me in and calls a nurse. The nurse says they are too booked and asks if I really look like I am in labor or even in pain. He looked stumped. I was in pain! My tolerated pain. They make me wait. I walk, I stand, I breathe. They let me in and ask me if I am having contractions. I said yes I am, otherwise I wouldn’t be here! I explained I was bleeding and I felt like this was it. They wrapped the contraction monitor around me and voila! he was going full force! They looked at me like I was inhuman. How on Earth was I tolerating that? I remembered all my breathing techniques from youtube! Time passed, they had me on pitocin to speed up the process and monitored his heart rate. That actually numbed me. Like I said I am one of the lucky ones! They broke my water and 1 day, 8 hours and 3 mins later he was here. He hit the first day of week 37.

Though I was happy and scared all at the same time I was thinking about my finals! Yes Finals! I sent my Government Professor a text and let him know that as soon as I got home I would take the exam. He had no idea I was pregnant and expressed how crazy I was to even think about school at that time. I was cleared to go on Friday and took my final exam quietly in my in laws guest bedroom. I was relieved. Thoughts about work went through my head. I had been fighting with the VA for FMLA and was unable to receive it since I was a new employee and had not worked there for more than a year. I was granted 4 weeks of non paid leave and was to return to work without pay for another month. I thank my co workers and supervisor for donating some of their leave to help me out!!

So in a moment where you are supposed to be filled with bliss, reality hits. You are a full time student, a full time employee, and now you are a MOM!